Were just gonna start with today.

Something Ive learned is this: The difference between how i grew up and how a 'rich' person grew up. Yes, in fact they had and probably still have life easy. Being spoon fed with everything. High school having nothing but nice clothes, and the best of the best. But myself on the other hand, I was grown up around struggles. Mom working, but barely makign it by. She didnt finish college, and my dad, well thats a complicated story. not really sure which side to believe. But that doesnt matter any more. At this time, he was really involved in my life. So i grew up in a single parent house hold. Ive seen what its like to go through struggles, and ive seen what the stress can do.

Since i was 14, ive held a job working my ass off to keep nice things. In my head it was simple, make it appear to others, and itll be true. Work my ass off to have a nice car (Shout out to my car Polar Bear: Black 2003 Saturn. Leather Interior. Heated seats. Sun roof. Automatic everything.), Nothing but name brand clothes. I was paying for most of bills. Always paid for car, insurance, and gas (minus the times my grandma and mom helped me out). There were times that I held 2 or 3 jobs. A lot to handle in High school? Better belive it! My grades werent the best, but I made it through. I skipped class just so i could sleep before work. Id show up to work sick, but made sure i slept during school. Everything around me, revolved on perseption. Showing other people that I can do me, reguardless of what I have.

I like to come off as I dont give a flying f*uck what people think about me. This is far from true. What people think about me is the center of who Ive become. Ive changed my standards to fit in with the 'in' crowd. Ive ppushed people away that have never left me, jsut because they werent the right people to be seen with. But this is all about to change. Im going to start showing the real me, losing friends, I really dont mind. Ive gotta come out on top, becuase of who i REALLY am. Im still going toc are about what people think, this is nothing but true.

So the main thing ive learned today (after going off on a different topic) is that yes, Ive struggled to pay bills, stretched myself to different limits, and hit rock bottom, BUT I have a drive and motivation that not many people can say they have. I know what its like to see struggles, I know that i DO NOT want that for myself. I have the motivation of my familes faults to push me forward. To fight through everything, jsut to make it. I refuse to end up like some of the peiople in my family. That sounds really bad? But im talking, i refuse to struggle paying bills, i refuse to tell my kids no because I cant afford it, and i refuse TO GIVE UP! Im coming out on top, with a degree, and hopefully a PhD. Yes then I will make everyone call me Dr. :)